So I had my first real taste of "Public Discipline" yesterday afternoon courtesy of Lucy. I guess "public" is relative as it was only in her school classroom. But public enough for me, thank you. The whole thing felt like a painful episode of "Super Nanny"...the ultimate struggle for power; naughty vs. nice; 2 year old pitted against weary, embarrassed parent. Except it was my painful episode and my audience was professionally-trained school teachers.
I'm not sure what possessed Lucy to go on a "slapping-spree". But there was no way I could turn a blind-eye and race out of the room to the car where I have cleverly installed restraints. Nope, this behavior required immediate consequences. Sooooo, armored with my shaky resolve and 2-3 online parenting articles, I plopped that mass of flailing arms and legs in a chair in the corner and calmly told her she was in timeout for 1 minute (because Lucy can tell time??) for hitting, well, everyone in her path. And then I stood up. And she stayed put........for about 5 seconds.
Ding - Round One. I chase after her like an idiot; dragging her back to the "timeout chair" three or four times. Each time resulting in immediate escape. Greta begins to cry and I start to feel a little overheated (why did I wear my tundra parka?).
Ding - Round Two. Lucy gives-up on the "hit-and-run" tactic and tests the waters by throwing herself on the floor right in front of the chair and playing dead. As I "gently" pick her up and set her back in the chair, she immediately melts back to the floor. I'm now sweating...a lot. Greta is wailing and a teacher has taken pity on the child and picked her up. I conceded and peel off my floor-length parka to reveal red and white polka-dot flannel bottoms and an old t-shirt (no bra). Lord...can it get any worse?
Ding - Round Three. Yes, it can get worse! Two well-dressed parents waltz into the room and are now part of the peanut-gallery watching me struggle to keep Lucy in timeout for a whopping 60 seconds (may I remind you I am still in my f-ugly Pj's). I can start to feel victory slipping through my fingertips as peer-pressure/embarrassment start to chip away at my already weakened resolve. Lucy's current ploy is sliding herself and the chair away from the "timeout spot". Really? Really.
Ding - Round Four. Greta's in tears. Lucy is now in tears. I'm almost in tears. But wait! Can it be? I check my watch again and....the clouds break, waters part, and miracle-of-miracles, Lucy has stayed in the "Timeout chair" for 1 minute! VICTORY! I want to jump up and down and celebrate (wait...no bra) but decide that a quick exit is best. I grab my coat (way too hot to put it on), put Greta back in her car seat, and turn to help Lucy into her coat. "Lucy, let's get your coat on. It's cold outside."
NO! Ding....
